Ho-Ho-How to Talk Turkey about Your Estate at the Holidays Four Festive Tips!
Effective Strategies for Talking About Your Estate Plans During the Holiday Season
Believe it or not, the holiday season is right around the corner! It’s that time of the year when families come together, excited to watch their grandchildren’s crazy shenanigans and have deep conversations with their school-aged children about their latest exploits. But amidst all the joy and merriment, let’s not forget about something equally important—estate planning.
Now, I know estate planning may not be as thrilling as unwrapping presents, but hear me out. During the holiday season, when the whole family is gathered under one roof, it’s the perfect opportunity to talk about your estate plans with your nominated representatives. Picture this: cozy conversations by the fire, multiple servings of dessert, and discussing financial and familial matters in between—it’s like a scene from a movie.
So, if you’re considering discussing your estate plan this holiday season, here are four tips to navigate these conversations with ease and ensure they don’t dampen the festive spirit.
1. Start with a Letter: The Prelude to the Big Reveal
Before you initiate a face-to-face discussion, why not set the stage with a letter? Write to your intended representative explaining the role they are nominated for and what you expect from them. Take the example of appointing a Pet Guardian:
“Dear Uncle Joe,
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I hope you’re well. I’m writing my last will & testament and would like to name you as Pet Guardian. I’m sending you this letter to explain what that means. I’m looking forward to seeing you this holiday season, where I’d be happy to explain more.
What is a pet guardian? Being named for pet guardianship usually means:
- In the event I pass away before my pets, you will be responsible for giving them a home and taking care of them.
- I would expect that you would treat my pets as companion animals, ensuring that they have a suitable home and are provided all appropriate diet, exercise, training, and veterinary care.
- These conditions generally apply to any pets that I have at the time of my passing, including those obtained after my will was written.
I know that you love my pets (and I know that they love you, too!), so when writing my will and thinking about this role, I immediately thought of you.
Love, Sally”
2. Have a Discussion Face-to-Face: Whispering Secrets Away from the Main Stage
When you finally feel the time is right (definitely not during the dinner table conversation), find a moment to pull your family member aside for an intimate conversation. Choose a quiet corner away from the commotion and refer back to the letter you sent them. Explain why you chose them for the role and answer any questions they may have. Here’s a sample script to inspire your own discussion:
“Hi, Uncle Joe. Thanks for considering my request that you serve as pet guardian under my will. I know it’s a big responsibility. I chose you for the role because you are a pet lover and a responsible pet owner yourself, and I know that my pets — both Rover, the dog, and Felix, the cat — will be in good hands if I’m no longer here to care for them. I outlined some of my expectations for this role in the letter I wrote to you, but would like to answer any additional questions you may have.”
3. Show Them the Relevant Document: Bringing Forth the Holy Grail
If you’re comfortable with it, let your nominee see the document where they are named. You can even bring the document to the family gathering and offer to show it to them. Providing a little context can go a long way in making them understand the importance of their role as an executor or trustee. After all, knowing who they’ll be partnering with and making decisions with can make a significant difference. It’s like having a secret file at the holiday feast.
4. Give Them a Chance to Say “No”: The Freedom to Opt-Out
Make it crystal clear that your nominee has no obligation to accept the role. Emphasize that you respect their decision, whether they choose to serve or not. If they decline, an alternate fiduciary can step in, or if no alternative is available, the probate court will appoint someone else. Maintaining open communication and appreciating their consideration is key.
Having these thoughtful conversations during the holidays may not be the most exhilarating part of the festivities, but they are an act of love and compassion. So seize this opportunity to discuss your wishes with the individuals you’ve entrusted with important roles in your estate plan. With proper handling, these conversations can strengthen your plan and instill confidence in your nominees.
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Are you ready to embark on this adventure of estate planning conversations? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! Let’s make these discussions as entertaining as a holiday blockbuster film!
