Finding your village is essential. Here’s how.

Finding your village is essential. Here's how.

Building a Community of Care: Finding Your People


In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and isolated. Many of us yearn for a sense of community and the support of like-minded individuals. Luckily, building a circle of trust and a community of care is within reach for everyone, and it can have a profound impact on our well-being and success.

The Power of Chats and Connections

In the article “Stop Waiting for Perfect,” the author shares her personal experiences with different chat groups, where she has found camaraderie, support, and inspiration. From her bestie chat to her journalism chat, these virtual spaces have become her circle of trust and her community of care.

These groups, along with her close relationships in real life, have played an instrumental role in her success. They provide a platform to exchange ideas, share experiences, and even critique each other’s work. These connections are a reminder that we don’t need to face challenges alone.

But how do we find our people? Building a community of care requires both courage and vulnerability, which can be challenging for perfectionists who tend to believe they can do it all on their own. However, this notion is far from the truth.

Embracing the Strength of Community

As humans, we are hardwired to live within a community, yet our individualistic culture often brainwashes us into thinking we don’t need help. However, relying solely on ourselves is not sustainable and can lead to burnout and isolation.

To build a community of care, we must first overcome the fear of vulnerability and the belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Instead, it is a sign of strength to recognize when we need support and to lean on others.

Friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson emphasizes that connecting with others starts with a simple hello. Whether it’s reaching out to colleagues after a Zoom meeting, striking up conversations at the local coffee shop, or leveraging social media to meet like-minded individuals, being social and initiating interactions can lead to meaningful connections.

Additionally, leveraging the connections of people we already know can open doors to new friendships. By letting others know we are seeking connections, we create opportunities for introductions and expand our circle.

Social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram also offer opportunities for virtual connections. Many individuals have made significant connections and formed support networks through these platforms.

The Art of Asking for Help

While making connections and being social is essential, true support comes when we are willing to be vulnerable and ask for help. Perfectionists may struggle with this, as they prefer to be self-sufficient and fear judgment from others.

However, asking for help is a sign of strength. It allows us to tap into the power of community and receive the support we need. Whether it’s being a parent or navigating other challenges, we are not meant to face them alone.

The author recounts a moment of struggle as a parent, overwhelmed by a difficult night with her baby. In her vulnerability, she reached out to a friend and found the support and reassurance she needed. This experience serves as a reminder that nobody is truly doing it all alone, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather a crucial step towards well-being.

It’s important to remember that our friends and family are not mind readers. Communicating our needs and being unapologetic about the help we require allows others to offer their support. Whether it’s through a menu of options or a simple request, sharing our needs opens the door to genuine care from our community.

Conclusion: Embrace Community and Accept Help

In a world that often glorifies individualism, it’s essential to embrace the power of community and the strength that comes from relying on one another. Building a circle of trust and a community of care requires courage, vulnerability, and an openness to receive help.

Finding support can range from joining chat groups or online communities to reaching out to familiar faces in your neighborhood or workplace. By initiating interactions, asking for help, and providing others with an opportunity to support us, we create a network of care that enriches our lives and propels us toward success.

Reflection Questions:

  1. When was the last time you asked for help? How did it feel? How did the other person react?

Excerpted with permission from Stop Waiting for Perfect, published by BenBella Books.